Nearly all of the fifty American states today announced their new mottos. Reasons for the change range from boredom (Nebraska) to most Americans not remembering that the state exists in the first place (Rhode Island). The new state mottos are:
Alaska: Warmer than you'd think! (Not really.)
Arizona: There is no Arizona.
Arkansas: Where inbreeding isn't just acceptable -- it's encouraged.
California: 90% of all Californians become rich celebrities! Honest!
Colorado: Get stoned! Legally! Also we've got mountains, but LEGAL POT!
Delaware: Politically relevant until 1847!
Florida: Because old people and bugs have to live somewhere.
Georgia: Peaches? Or something? Whatever, man.
Hawaii: Two words: Hula girls.
Idaho: Taters, Precious!
Indiana: We got them racin' cars!
Kansas: Over 82,000 square miles and not a hill in sight.
Kentucky: Not actually the home of fried chicken.
Louisiana: Now with slightly less catastrophic flooding!
Maine: Event.
Maryland: We're merry! Get it? Merry-land? No? …Shut up.
Massachusetts: Sabotaging spelling tests since 1775.
Michigan: D-FUCKIN'-TROIT, BITCHES!
Mississippi: Helping Americans count since 1894.
Missouri: Remarkably free of distinguishing features!
Montana: Our sky is bigger than your sky!
Nebraska: Because CORN!!!
Nevada: What happens in Nevada stays in Las Vegas.
New Hampshire: 50% less British than Old Hampshire.
New Jersey: What exit?
New Mexico: Not entirely desert!
New York: Go back to Jersey, ya moron!
North Carolina: Better than South Carolina.
Ohio: Gozaimasu.
Oklahoma: We've got a musical!
Oregon: Birthplace of trails.
Pennsylvania: Do you like football? Are you a redneck? Come on in!
Rhode Island: Less fun than it looks on Family Guy.
South Carolina: Better than North Carolina.
Tennessee: Not responsible for the Dixie Chicks.
Texas: Guns, oil and religion. What else do you want?
Virginia: Ironically, not for lovers.
Washington: Fewer hipsters than Oregon.
West Virginia: Singlehandedly destroyed North Virginia.
Wisconsin: Notable for more than cheese!
Wyoming: Wy not?
Alabama legislature claimed that, while they did wish to submit a revised motto, the deadline was missed due to difficulty spelling the word 'incestuous'. Additionally, several states (Vermont, Iowa and Minnesota) opted not to change their mottos, or in the case of Utah, claimed that they were, "Keeping the new one a secret." After some investigation, both North and South Dakota appear to have have vanished altogether.
No comments:
Post a Comment